I understand that all dad's want to coach their child in whatever sport the child loves, however, at some point the dad needs to let the kid be coached by someone else........so they know how to be coached by someone other than dad...... (dad cant coach them in college!!) what are your thoughts on what age a dad needs to step aside as a coach and just simple be a dad and watch his kid be a player?
Daddy or coach?
- Thread starter llpmom
- Start date
It is more about continued growth between a daughter and father. Coaching them when they are young, birth through 12 is most opportune for a dad to really connect with his player. Have common ground to bond.
After 12, the father should consider what aspects of your daughter do you want to be involved. Softball ends much quicker than you may think. If softball is the only thing that bonds each together, what happens then? Teenagers is defined as such through history for a reason.
My player is in college, and still playing softball. Our conversations are about any and everything BUT softball.
When to let go is a risk, always is. The player will let you know, listen to her. There can be greater opportunities for a good player to move away from dad. But also some hard knocks which dad cannot protect her from.
I have seen it work well both ways. Most players move away from dad, and listen to me dads, it is up to you to find common ground, trust, backing, without softball.
It also should be understood. There are coaches, who made their way starting with their daughters. It is a select group. The insiders know. For them it has worked, and probably in the process faced more criticism than deserved. For that value extends to others, so I also support those few.
South Carolina is based on the softball daughter/dad (pardon, and Mom's) relationship. It is what makes this state so great. For such a small state, plenty of great players emerge. There are no easy answers, but to just ask, represents why we in SC are so proud of our young lady players and their parents.
Just keep the daughters on the field. There are plenty fields. Coaching Matters a bunch. Then It becomes up to the player, her mind, her skill set, her body. The daughter and player determines the end game and is most difficult for any parent to grasp.
After 12, the father should consider what aspects of your daughter do you want to be involved. Softball ends much quicker than you may think. If softball is the only thing that bonds each together, what happens then? Teenagers is defined as such through history for a reason.
My player is in college, and still playing softball. Our conversations are about any and everything BUT softball.
When to let go is a risk, always is. The player will let you know, listen to her. There can be greater opportunities for a good player to move away from dad. But also some hard knocks which dad cannot protect her from.
I have seen it work well both ways. Most players move away from dad, and listen to me dads, it is up to you to find common ground, trust, backing, without softball.
It also should be understood. There are coaches, who made their way starting with their daughters. It is a select group. The insiders know. For them it has worked, and probably in the process faced more criticism than deserved. For that value extends to others, so I also support those few.
South Carolina is based on the softball daughter/dad (pardon, and Mom's) relationship. It is what makes this state so great. For such a small state, plenty of great players emerge. There are no easy answers, but to just ask, represents why we in SC are so proud of our young lady players and their parents.
Just keep the daughters on the field. There are plenty fields. Coaching Matters a bunch. Then It becomes up to the player, her mind, her skill set, her body. The daughter and player determines the end game and is most difficult for any parent to grasp.
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Dads or Moms need to find the best fit (team/coach) for their daughter and get completely out of the way. With rare exceptions Mommy/Daddy ball should be a last resort only when there are no good options available. What I do like is the parents being involved on extra individual work sessions like batting and fielding practice. In my case I was also a catcher several times a week. I have done this both ways coaching vs just a parent. If you have a choice just be a parent and DON'T BE A HELICOPTER PARENT EITHER! There are plenty roles where the team or organizations needs help like Team Mom etc.. be a team player as a parent if the team needs you. Everyone needs good teammates/parents.
JACKET has a point as she is a terrific coach with a tremendous organization. That is a given and her point is spot on.
Yet some players do not fit the mold of the organizational player. For whatever reason. Some may say not the right stuff.
No matter really for there is a significant spot for all. Some players like the homegrown atmosphere, playing with friends and "family". Probably it is not the absolute best way for a player to reach her ultimate potential. But to keep a player on the field, any field, with a coach who is also probably a Dad, has merit.
So for the dads who coach, and do it correctly, they benefit many players who go along for the ride. So it is not the super org. But it is softball, As you watch many fall out and you're still in the game. In the end, if you make it to college, and are still playing, something has gone right.
For parents who invest money, as long as you get the return pay back, it is a win.
But to JACKETS correct stance. The quest through giving your player to an elite coach is the right one. Just not always the right choice for every player. That is where coach parents represent great value.
Yet some players do not fit the mold of the organizational player. For whatever reason. Some may say not the right stuff.
No matter really for there is a significant spot for all. Some players like the homegrown atmosphere, playing with friends and "family". Probably it is not the absolute best way for a player to reach her ultimate potential. But to keep a player on the field, any field, with a coach who is also probably a Dad, has merit.
So for the dads who coach, and do it correctly, they benefit many players who go along for the ride. So it is not the super org. But it is softball, As you watch many fall out and you're still in the game. In the end, if you make it to college, and are still playing, something has gone right.
For parents who invest money, as long as you get the return pay back, it is a win.
But to JACKETS correct stance. The quest through giving your player to an elite coach is the right one. Just not always the right choice for every player. That is where coach parents represent great value.
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There is definitely not a fit that fits all. If your end goal is college ball you need to find the right situation though where a team has proven to put multiple players in college ball. That is not always a mega team organization but in most cases it is. In all cases playing the game during the summer and fall can only help players. Even if the coach (or a dad/mom) isn't the best the experience is something you cant put a price on.
Wow, I stumbled upon this conversation by accident and it is very humbling. I fully admit I’m that dad that doesn’t want the game to end for my daughter. I’m also a realist and realize that time may be sooner rather than later. I’ve finally accepted the fact that it is her decision to walk away not mine. This is com in from a dad/coach. I coached my girl from 8 yrs. old until she turned 12. At that point I felt the coach that would be coaching her would be a great fit. He was very good with “my girls," as I like to still call them. Unfortunately, in my daughter’s case he was too much of a friend instead of a coach. She became complacent and empathetic as long as she was just there going through the motions. She was a good player with a ton of potential but she just didn’t have the heart to go get it. I worked her harder than anyone when I coached her. I left her at 12 because I felt like I was needed more for our 8 yr. old son. Do I regret it? Absolutely, but it was also very good to be with my boy. My dad worked my whole life so he rarely attended any games or practices.
Fast forward a little and now our daughter just finished up her first time playing for a travel team. This team was more like someone referred to as “hometown/family”. No, it’s not the most competitive team but the core group of girls have been together for some time and mesh well. They certainly are better than what their record indicates. In my opinion a better coaching staff and more structure would carry them a good ways. I’m thankful for the opportunity travel ball gave my daughter to be exposed to better competition and to show her what it’s like to really want something and to go after it if she chooses. Great competition is the ultimate decision maker! She says she has no interest in playing for the travel team anymore and has passed on the most recent tryouts. Part of me is fine with that but the old coach in me is still having a tough time with it because I see the potential and I don’t want her to get lazy and look back with regret someday.
Nothing brings a smile to my face quicker than to have one of “my girls” come up to me as I’m waiting for my daughter and ask “Am I pulling my head out? or Do you remember when I used to lunge at the ball and you told me I’d run circuits the entire practice if I did it again?” What a great feeling! These girls are now all trying out for other teams I hear. They’re all trying out for their respective high school teams. Some will remain teammates in HS, others will become rivals but they’ll forever be friends and “my girls”. My own daughter has recently started conditioning with our local HS and although I’m not getting my hopes up she does seem to be really interested in playing. That makes this old coach very happy!
Sorry to ramble but these posts stir up a lot of emotions for this old coach and his little girl. Happy New Year and best of luck to you all in 2016. See you at the park!
Fast forward a little and now our daughter just finished up her first time playing for a travel team. This team was more like someone referred to as “hometown/family”. No, it’s not the most competitive team but the core group of girls have been together for some time and mesh well. They certainly are better than what their record indicates. In my opinion a better coaching staff and more structure would carry them a good ways. I’m thankful for the opportunity travel ball gave my daughter to be exposed to better competition and to show her what it’s like to really want something and to go after it if she chooses. Great competition is the ultimate decision maker! She says she has no interest in playing for the travel team anymore and has passed on the most recent tryouts. Part of me is fine with that but the old coach in me is still having a tough time with it because I see the potential and I don’t want her to get lazy and look back with regret someday.
Nothing brings a smile to my face quicker than to have one of “my girls” come up to me as I’m waiting for my daughter and ask “Am I pulling my head out? or Do you remember when I used to lunge at the ball and you told me I’d run circuits the entire practice if I did it again?” What a great feeling! These girls are now all trying out for other teams I hear. They’re all trying out for their respective high school teams. Some will remain teammates in HS, others will become rivals but they’ll forever be friends and “my girls”. My own daughter has recently started conditioning with our local HS and although I’m not getting my hopes up she does seem to be really interested in playing. That makes this old coach very happy!
Sorry to ramble but these posts stir up a lot of emotions for this old coach and his little girl. Happy New Year and best of luck to you all in 2016. See you at the park!
Z91, very nice story.
High School softball can be the savior of last resort.
That is what saved us, so keep the faith, and cherish every chance to see your kids on the ball field.
Just take note about HS softball as your player climbs the ranks. There will be seasons when she plays a bunch. Then followed by seasons where she is only a bit player while climbing the ranks. It is the nature of this HS game. It is the ones who climb past the benched seasons who get the rewards.
And do not think for a minute the High Schools do not appreciate these non travel players. They certainly do. Most all the good High Schools are based on travel players from the super orgs. But having followed HS softball for a while now, it is the schools who make the extra effort to fill in the 2nd half of their team with excellent upperclass role players, who stay near the top year after year.
A small handful of HS programs are now developing middle school softball teams. I think it is terrific. But to stay on point. And not to disrepect the super orgs. The super orgs are the way to go. But several high schools teams in this SC state are offering elevated play for the young player, and my hat is tipped.
If your players potential is there, and happiness can be obtained by her with her classmates on the field, who knows, some college will find her. It probably will not be what the super orgs can get. But hey, as long as she is on the field ....
High School softball can be the savior of last resort.
That is what saved us, so keep the faith, and cherish every chance to see your kids on the ball field.
Just take note about HS softball as your player climbs the ranks. There will be seasons when she plays a bunch. Then followed by seasons where she is only a bit player while climbing the ranks. It is the nature of this HS game. It is the ones who climb past the benched seasons who get the rewards.
And do not think for a minute the High Schools do not appreciate these non travel players. They certainly do. Most all the good High Schools are based on travel players from the super orgs. But having followed HS softball for a while now, it is the schools who make the extra effort to fill in the 2nd half of their team with excellent upperclass role players, who stay near the top year after year.
A small handful of HS programs are now developing middle school softball teams. I think it is terrific. But to stay on point. And not to disrepect the super orgs. The super orgs are the way to go. But several high schools teams in this SC state are offering elevated play for the young player, and my hat is tipped.
If your players potential is there, and happiness can be obtained by her with her classmates on the field, who knows, some college will find her. It probably will not be what the super orgs can get. But hey, as long as she is on the field ....
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I will add a little to this. North Augusta made a state title with 2 travel players. This run couldn't be made without those players being talented. Those players played for they right reasons when it comes to high school athletics. They played for the love of the game and to represent their school. They didn't take the game as serious as my daughter but you can bet she appreciated those players! In many ways it made me prouder of their accomplishments. The team they lost out to had college committed players on the bench so a team full of non travel players did pretty well. Having said all that I am happy to see more girls at NA involved in travel ball.
